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How to Fail Your Job Interview
I'm sure you already know how to do this, you've probably done it already when the job you applied for didn't truly appeal to you. In case you are in need of new inspiration, here are some suggestions of ways to avoid getting employed at the interview stage.
1. Answer your phone at the interview. Leaving it on is bad, answering it makes you like, really rude. 2. Say nasty things about your current or past employer. It makes YOU look good and nasty. 3. Turn up drunk or smelling of alcohol. 4. Don't turn up at all for the interview. This is a guaranteed way to avoid employment. Of course they may ring you - so switch off your phone. 5. Say that you don't know anything about the company that you're applying for a job with. Makes you look really disinterested. 6. Eat, smoke or chew gum. 7. Smell bad. Have you ever been on a train with someone who did? Effective isn't it. 8. Look bad. Unless you're going for a job where it is an advantage. 9. Say nothing or don't stop talking. Listen to the questions being asked and make sure you don't give a straight answer to any of them. Or don't answer at all. Better still, talk to yourself. 10. Tell the interviewer all about your personal problems - they probably have a few of their own and will be jealous that you get to talk about yours and they have to listen politely. 11. Be rude to the receptionist - s/he WILL tell on you! 12. Forget to bring a resume or anything else you've been asked to bring along. 13. Arrive late. Do you like waiting? Interviewers don't - they'll be p****d. 14. Stay up all night so you can be sure you won't look or feel good. 15. Complain about - anything really. Complaining at interview stage (for instance too much paperwork to fill in, the office was too hard to find, you're having a terrible day) ensures that you let a prospective employer know that turning up to work may very likely be a problem as well. 16. Add your own ideas....
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Contributor's Note
This intel is dedicated to everyone who ever had a bad interview, from either side of the fence. I hope you enjoy it and remember - don't take life too seriously.
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